Empire Point of View IV by ~mhzdsgn on deviantART
A little something to say, "Breathe!" Above all this turmoil there is air, and color. While the turmoil feels terrible, sometimes you have to admire its immensity and complexity, and realize that you only live in it. You can't control it.
"I'm a mess because of a lot of things, and I guess I can tell you all about it, but it's a really long and complicated thing with a lot of unrelated parts that even I can't remember entirely. It all kinda amounts to Life is Complicated and I am Simply an Idiot, but Things Usually Feels a lot Different than They Really Do, and I Feel Too Much. See, isn't that confusing enough already?" - Me
"I completely understand the mess you are, as far as you've told me, because frankly I tend to be the same kind of mess myself. Especially the Life is Complicated, and I am Simply an Idiot, and Things Usually Feel a lot Different than They Really Are, and I Feel Too Much. "really long and complicated with a lot of unrelated parts" is an extremely good description.
You're welcome. Any time you need to tell someone you're a mess, I'm here to read. Actually, call me sometime if you want to rant about all the complications. (xxx) xxx-xxxx Nighttime is easiest for me to get away and be on the phone, but anytime I'm not in class, I'm happy to listen." - A.B.
This girl makes me happy! She makes me happy and she can easily light up my day, and she never seems to get mad. I haven't been able to push her off any edge, and I'm good at pushing people off edges -sigh- Hah, wow, I needed this more than I thought I did.
I feel blessed, and lucky, and immensely grateful.
One of the events that make me love the Christian folks. So supportive.
Some old people are coming back too. Sam and I have been distant with one another since the beginning of the year. I think she's a little bit jealous of my friends, the ones I go to visit every Friday. She said she couldn't compete. It wasn't that we were really close to begin with, but we were at a point where we could tell each other personal stuff. When we talked during her rehearsal for Frog and Toad, she felt that I've been mean to her, and distant. Which is partly true: I hate being at Wilcox, but that doesn't mean I'm not nice to the people there. I'm distant from them though, constantly. They're really nice people and all, really, but there's something about me that doesn't attract me to any one of them in a manner where that close, "I'll go out of my way to see you even for a cup of coffee" bond. I guess it's because people here aren't that kind of people? They're always critically thinking, and they're always weighing their options, and they think about whether or not they have time to spend. I've been doing a lot of that too, this year, and it really sucks. I go home when there's no one at Wilcox that I like rather than hang around and be friendly. Or I completely forget about the Wilcox people and go see my friends. I can understand why Sam feels neglected, but she has to know that I've stopped trying to really get to know the Wilcox people.
Wow, I really felt that way about Wilcox?
I realized it would be quicker to change the setting to those notes to be just me private. Didn't want to copy over all those long notes, and there's not much else of interest. Looking back into the past? Wow, my writing has not changed at all. But the good memories, the good memories are good.
No comments:
Post a Comment