Saturday, October 30, 2010

Good Morning Rain, Good Morning Sun

(I'm break the I's rule and using as many as I like)

Today's another one of those long study days.  I'm missing a trip to the de Young art museum in San Francisco, which holds fond memories of AC, so I wanted to see it again (someday, I will also see the science museum next door).  I was suppose to go ice skating with kids for APO, but it got canceled due to lack of drivers and rainy weather.  I would have volunteered to drive a car, but I figured I'd best sit tight and study for my biology and physics midterms today.  I have a good feeling that today will be a productive day, since I'm well rested and not feeling so negative towards the world.  So here's hoping that biology and physics will be studied today, chemistry and stats tomorrow.

I've been thinking that this blog has become a place for me to throw down all that is negative, and all that is positive, in my life.  As a result, who I am outside this blog is somewhere in-between.  But since there's such a wide range from positive to negative here, that neutrality outside is uncomfortable.  I would prefer to narrow that range, and shift it towards the positive side.  I'm glad that I have this place to throw down everything I feel without censorship, so that my friends won't have to put up with me being unhappy or having to hear me rant all the time.  I will have already blown off steam here.  Those who read this do so at their own choosing, and they can politely stop at any time.  It would be more difficult to politely escape listening to a friend, even when that friend is being tiresome and overreactive.

This morning I woke up after 8 hours and said good morning to first the rain, then the sun, and now it's some strange place in-between.  Goodness, I think I'd like one or the other.  That seems to be the theme for today: rejection of the in-betweens, preference for some form of dominance, preferably the positive one.  Haha, I'm still trying to find balance, but my over-active mind keeps spouting all these random things that must be written down or else I will be distracted by them for the rest of the day.  Let's go send VV a deviantART message, then look over my answers for Bio41 practice midterm 08-09, and listen to Wednesday's lecture which I fell asleep in.  Good plan, good plan.

VV posted this on dA: http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNfvuJr9164.  She's been going through depression lately, too, and she found this to lift her up.  This is amazing.  I'm thanking you from the bottom of my heart, and wishing you would know just how much I miss you, and how much I wish I could be with you right now to give you a great, big hug, and let you know that I love you and that I want go to through this part of your life with you.  I don't know how much help I will be, but I want to be by your side nonetheless.

But I can't actually make her read/hear that, so she'll have to get that from here, and I'm just going to say something to the same effect with much cooler words.  I wonder why I feel that way.

"Danny and Annie" from StoryCorps


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