I've been feeling a little better. Not great, but I think to reach that point of happiness at a consistent level would require extra work from me. Reaching a point of contentment, and peace, is more manageable for me and my school load. I think a lot of what creates my current stability is having this room to myself, although I know I've been repeating that like a broken record player. Having pictures that resonate with the quiet places in my heart creates stability, and my quotes, though I fear I may grow tire of them, is a good constant reminder. The walls are still in some state of disarray, but I'm slowly examining the clutter and changing it, looking for an equilibrium of fullness yet orderly display of strength and love. I love my fake foliage the most, but it has a way of overgrowing and creating chaos.
I woke up this morning with the sun in my face and for a moment felt like I was back in my room at home. The walls there had light planks of vertical wood on the wall, like the hardwood on your floor, that I loved. Whenever I buy a house for myself, my room would be such a room. Shades of brown and wood grains are comforting, and the vines re-creates that experience to some extent. Back home I hated my parent's restraints, but it was a place that I grew up in and left memories.
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