Strange Hours, Strange Places

Lately, I've been working in the chemistry auditorium. I have my CHEM31A class here during the week, and for the majority of the evenings this week, I've been going back to the auditorium after dinner to work. It's very nice to have a whole room to myself, since I seem to be hypersensitive to people in the same room as me. I have a wonderful roommate, but after seven weeks of sharing I had to find a space that was entirely mine. So I come to the chemistry auditorium in the evening, when there are still a class going or just ending, and stay in the auditorium well after everyone has left and the front doors are locked. I meet and greet the janitors who come in at around midnight to clean. There are two lovely Latinas with whom I try to rejuvenate my limited Spanish skills. Strange enough, no one else comes around. The only thing that bothers me is the motion-sensor lights.

Right above the auditorium are the labs and offices, and connected to the auditorium is a basement with a number of offices, storage areas, and some lab rooms. I found the faculty lounge the other day. They have couches...and I should think coffee and foods. But I'm still debating the subject with my moral conscience.

My demand for a space correlates with my demand for a friend. People here are very nice and wonderful people; I like many of them and many of them like me. But I've yet to find a person with whom I truly connect and want to spend time with. The people who come closest to that status are all teachers...Specifically, my chemistry lecturer, my SLE section leader, and my academic advisor. All three are incredibly busy, though very friendly, so I only get a chance to talk with them when I have an academic subject to discuss. The line blurs a bit with Yoon Sook, but you know how those humanities majors are. I miss having personal guidance from teachers with whom I've established a friendship, and I miss having friends with wonderfully profound souls. There are many beautiful people here with brilliant minds, but not many with beautiful souls.

So I am feeling a bit lonely, and frustrated to know that there seems to be an invisible barrier between me and people who I truly want to get to know and befriend.